How to accept my shadow?

By making a small place for it in my life! 😄

What are light and shadow?

Every human being has two sides, like the moon:

A luminous side.
A dark side.

My light is what I show others:

My qualities.
My good humor.
My ego.

My shadow is the reservoir of everything I do not want to see:

My flaws.
My emotional wounds and traumas.
My vulnerability.
My fears.
My mediocrity.
My repressed desires.

Example: Everyone has a homosexual side, which contains many shameful desires. Few accept it.

What are the consequences if I reject my shadow?

The main consequence is suffering.

I can see my darkness as a part of me that suffers in silence. It’s my inner child that has been forgotten, because all my life I have been playing a character to be loved.

I can’t be myself if I’ve buried a part of myself: something is missing.

Ignoring my shadows leads to self-sabotage, and prevents me from realizing my potential.

I feel like I’m in control of life, when in fact it’s my shadow parts that are controlling me.

Examples:

I’m afraid of doing the wrong thing, so I become a perfectionist, which I think is a quality.
I believe I have to look good to avoid rejection, so I spend a lot of time in front of the mirror.
I’m afraid of not being loved, so I’m helpful and forget myself.

Denying your shadow is natural. Since childhood, I’ve been encouraged to be perfect and to show only the positive. I don’t need to feel guilty about this; on the contrary, I can forgive myself.

n m’a incité à être parfait(e) et à ne montrer que le positif. Je n’ai pas besoin de me culpabiliser pour ça, au contraire je peux me pardonner.

Symptoms

Many illnesses are due to the fact that I unconsciously wish to reject a part of myself by expelling something from my body:

Abscess.
Warts.
Sebaceous cysts.
Eczema.
Acne.
Urticaria.
Boil.
Tics.
Tourette’s syndrome.
Urinary incontinence.
Gastroesophageal reflux disease.
Constipation.
Colds.
Coughs.
Beauty seeds.

Homme côté sombre — With my shadow and my light

How to accept my darkness?

Wanting to eradicate my dark side is an ego wish: acceptance is the only way.

When I accept my shadow, I accept all the parts of me. And there are many parts of me that I’ve rejected and repressed throughout my life, particularly during childhood.

Becoming aware

Everyone has a dark side, only few people are willing to face it.

It’s common to multiply external activities, to avoid meeting the monster inside me that frightens me.

What are all these traumas, fears, attachments and desires that I do not want to see?

Generally speaking, what I do not like in others is what I reject in myself.

Becoming aware means shedding light on this forgotten part.

Introspection

It’s not possible to fully experience my light without recognizing my shadow.

When I become aware of a wounded or repressed part of myself, I can explore it and bring it love.

This involves :

Spending time with myself.
Accepting the best and the worst.
Not constantly trying to improve myself.

The good news is that it’s possible to gradually shed light on my dark side, and heal myself.

I discover how to deal with my emotions.

Include my shadow in my life

To fully recognize my shadow is to include it in every part of my life.

I can see it as a living part of myself, with a voice of its own.

One of the best tools for communicating directly with my shadow is intuitive writing.

My shadow is looking for me and only wants to be loved. So I can send it love every day.

Note that if I frequently feel abandonment, rejection or anger, this is what my shadow feels towards myself.

Meditation

I can do a self-meditation / visualization in which I explore my darkness. In this way, I am sure to receive messages or insights.

Examples:

I dive to the bottom of the ocean.
I go to the moon, to the lighted side, then to the dark side.
I imagine a well in my garden, and go down into it.
I go in search of my inner child.

Conclusion