Back to the school benches, we all missed the point! 😄
Rehabilitating the sexual act
We all need love.
Arousal and orgasm provide pleasure, but they are not the ultimate goal of sexuality.
Sexual intercourse is supposed to be a wonderful part of the human experience.
Nowadays :
- Sexuality is taboo, shaped by thousands of years of restrictions and frustrations.
- The sexual act is an emotional gratification, for short-term satisfaction.
- Pornography conditions us.
Making love is not just a physical act.
It is one of life’s most joyful celebrations: a divine union between two people.
Ego and sex
Often egos take control of sexual relationships, leading to frustration.
In men, this can lead to :
- Impotence.
- Focusing on the erection or orgasm.
- Multiplying partners.
- The desire to impress with performance.
In women, this can lead to:
- Frigidity.
- Jealousy and possession.
- Offering oneself sexually as a reward.
- The need to seduce.
All these concerns change love into sex, which becomes a selfish drive.
Masturbation
To masturbate is an emotional and energetic valve: it helps to release the pressure.
It’s about making love to myself, and giving myself pleasure. There is nothing wrong with that.
However, if I raise my awareness, I will realize that masturbation is a compensation for fears and anxieties. Behind the masturbatory impulse are emotions.
The further I go on my inner journey, the less I feel the need for it.
It is not a matter of stopping masturbation overnight. It happens naturally and gradually.
This is only possible if my energetic body is functioning efficiently.
At first, I couldn’t go more than four days without waking up in the middle of the night because I had too much energy.
The energy of semen is precious. I can ask my body to transform the powerful sexual energy into life energy.
Re-learning to make love
It is possible to regain the true power of the sexual act.
Awareness
The first step is to admit that :
- Making love is an integral part of human nature.
- My emotions control and restrict my sexuality.
- The search for orgasm is a manifestation of the ego.
- The sexual act can be much more than an orgasmic drive: the fusion of two beings in love.
Commitment
The path to relearning how to make love naturally requires a commitment from both partners:
- Availability.
- Communication.
- Honesty.
- Understanding.
- Softness.
Lovemaking free of dependencies, attachments and fears takes time.
This means accepting myself, my conditioning and my wounds.
Trusting the bodies
Sexual intercourses can be more than just back-and-forth movements.
When we are present and available, the penis and vagina naturally know how to move.
Making love is not a mental act: the bodies choose the movements… or the lack of them!
Orgasms happen naturally, or not.
It is not a question of desire: 2 compatible bodies placed side by side naturally like to make love.
For more practical details, I recommend the book “Making Love: Sexual Love the Divine Way” by Barry Long.
The aim is to experience divine union with my partner.
Emotional acceptance
Me emotions are the main obstacle to my sexual blossoming.
I can accept them rather than ignore or fight them.
The best way to relearn how to make love is to learn to deal with my emotions.
Example: I am afraid of not being loved. This will affect my relationship with the other person.
With regard to ejaculation, it is useful to learn to discern whether it is natural or an expression of emotion.
Premature ejaculation is a manifestation of repressed emotions.
Making love is therapeutic.
The penis acts as a hoover for the emotions in the vagina.
Emotions blocked in the genitals reduce sensation and pleasure. Once released, lovemaking can become ecstatic.
Conscious love
Foreplay tends to reinforce fantasies, and to be mentally elsewhere.
Even during sex, we are often in our thoughts, or imagination.
However, in order to achieve a physical, energetic and spiritual connection, it is necessary to be fully present.
Making love becomes a conscious act in the present moment.
In this way, the man collects the divine energies of the woman.
Conscious sex allows us to experience through love that we are one.
Conclusion
How to make love?
The sexual act is probably the best thing on Earth.
However, the ego predominates in sexuality, and leads to frustration.
For sex to become love again and lead to ecstasy, it requires :
- To stop seeing the orgasm as an end in itself.
- To accept my sexual emotions.
- To focus my consciousness on the act of love.
This is called sacred sexuality.