We all need love.
Arousal and orgasm provide pleasure, but they are not the ultimate goal of sexuality.
Rehabilitating the sexual act
Sexual intercourse is supposed to be a wonderful part of the human experience.
- Sexuality is taboo, shaped by thousands of years of restrictions and frustrations.
- The sexual act is an emotional gratification, for short-term satisfaction.
- Pornography conditions us.
Making love is not just a physical act.
It is one of life’s most joyful celebrations: a divine union between two people.
Ego and sex
Often egos take control of sexual relationships, leading to frustration.
In men, this leads to :
- Focusing on the erection or orgasm.
- Multiplying partners.
- The desire to impress with performance.
In women, this leads to:
- Jealousy and possession.
- Offering oneself sexually as a reward.
- The need to seduce.
All these concerns change love into sex, which becomes a selfish drive.
To masturbate is an emotional and energetic valve: it helps to release the pressure.
It’s about making love to yourself, and giving yourself pleasure.
There is nothing wrong with that.
However, if you raise your awareness, you will realize that masturbation is a compensation for fears and anxieties.
Behind the masturbatory impulse are emotions.
The further we go on our inner journey, the less we feel the need for it.
It is not a matter of stopping masturbation overnight. It happens naturally and gradually.
This is only possible if the energetic body is functioning efficiently.
At first, I couldn’t go more than four days without waking up in the middle of the night because I had too much energy.
The energy of semen is precious. We can ask our body to transform the powerful sexual energy into life energy.
Re-learning to make love
It is possible to regain the true power of the sexual act.
The first step is to admit that :
- Making love is an integral part of human nature.
- Our emotions control and restrict our sexuality.
- The search for orgasm is a manifestation of the ego.
- The sexual act can be much more than an orgasmic drive: the fusion of two beings in love.
The path to relearning how to make love naturally requires a commitment from both partners:
Lovemaking free of dependencies, attachments and fears takes time.
It requires self-acceptance, and understanding of our conditioning.
Trusting the bodies
Sexual intercourses can be more than just back-and-forth movements.
When we are present and available, the penis and vagina naturally know how to move.
Making love is not a mental act: the bodies decide on the movements… or the lack of them!
Orgasms happen naturally, or not.
It is not a question of desire: bodies placed side by side naturally like to make love.
For more practical details, I recommend the book “Making Love: Sexual Love the Divine Way” by Barry Long.
The aim is to experience divine union with your partner.
Emotions are the main obstacle to sexual fulfillment.
They cannot be ignored. They should be accepted and integrated.
The best way to relearn how to make love is to learn to manage our emotions.
Example: I am afraid of not being loved. This will affect my relationship with the other person.
With regard to ejaculation, it is useful to learn to discern whether it is natural or an expression of emotion.
Premature ejaculation is a manifestation of repressed emotions.
Making love is therapeutic.
The penis acts as a hoover for the emotions in the vagina.
Emotions blocked in the genitals reduce sensation and pleasure. Once released, lovemaking can become ecstatic.
Foreplay tends to reinforce fantasies, and to be mentally elsewhere.
Even during sex, we are often in our thoughts, or imagination.
However, in order to achieve a physical, energetic and spiritual connection, it is necessary to be fully present.
Making love becomes a conscious act in the present moment.
In this way, the man collects the divine energies of the woman.
Conscious sex allows us to experience through love that we are one.
How to make love?
The sexual act is probably the best thing on Earth.
However, the ego predominates in sexuality, and leads to frustration.
For sex to become love again and lead to ecstasy, it requires :
- To stop seeing the orgasm as an end in itself.
- To free ourselves from sexual emotions.
- To focus our consciousness on the act of love.
This is called sacred sexuality.