Certainly not by burying my head in the sand! 😄
What is an emotion?
An emotion is a temporary affective reaction felt in my body.
John is unjustly punished by his teacher. He feels a frustration. His head heats up and he turns red. He has ideas of revenge, like hitting the teacher. After a while, the anger passes and he calms down.
Emotions are neither negative nor positive. They can be pleasant (like joy) or unpleasant (like fear).
An emotion can take control of:
- My body.
- My thoughts.
- My behavior.
Lisa hears a knock on the window. It’s dark and she’s alone. She’s frightened. She feels a lump in her throat. Her heart is racing. She remains frozen, on the alert, not knowing what to do.
What to do in case of emotion?
Emotions are not to be fought or ignored.
If I feel an emotion, I can just breathe deeply, accept it and let it flow through me.
Patrick feels a sense of despair. He checks that his breathing isn’t blocked. He says to himself: “I accept to feel this emotion.” 1 minute later, the emotion is gone.
What is an emotional wound?
If an emotion is not able to circulate freely, it creates an emotional wound.
I have an accumulation of emotional memories from:
- My past.
- My ancestors.
- My other lives.
Kate has been feeling anxious for several days, without knowing why. In fact, a story she heard on the news awakened her anxiety about being abandoned by her parents when she was 2 years old.
What to do in case of emotional wound?
I have many emotional wounds.
They replay themselves over and over in my life, until they are accepted.
Jenny breaks a glass when she’s 5 years old. She feels guilty, but can’t put it into words. Her mom scolds her, although she’d like to hear that it’s no big deal. What she really needs is understanding. A memory of guilt is stuck inside her.
Now an adult, Jenny frequently feels senses of guilt. In other words, she repeats situations of guilt in her life, because she has a deep wound.
Emotional acceptance process
When the emotional wound is ready to be healed, it manifests itself in the form of repeating emotions, or sensations in my body.
In this case, I can :
- Settle down, close my eyes and breathe deeply and calmly.
- Observe the emotion in my body.
- Accept it.
- If that’s not enough: listen to my felt sense to know what the wound needs to cure itself.
In particular:
- Expressing it (in speaking, in writing, in singing, in crying, in moving, in shouting, in dancing, in playing music, in drawing, etc.).
- Imagining that I receive comforting words from a loved one (“I welcome your emotions, I love you, I accept you as you are, …”).
- Sending myself love.
- Allowing time for the wound to heal.
- Understanding my needs (for love, joy, attention, trust, support, etc.).
- Forgiving myself or asking for forgiveness.
- Telling my feelings directly to those who hurt me.
- Becoming aware of something.
- Transforming something in my life.
By accepting my emotional wounds, I’m getting better and better.
If I don’t manage on my own, I can find someone to help me.
Summary
How to deal with my emotions?
An emotion is a natural reaction, meant to be lived. Repressing or dealing with emotions does not work.
When an emotion or situation is repeated, there is an emotional wound underneath, which takes me back to the past.
In this case, it is advisable to:
- Welcome the emotion without judgment.
- Avoid blaming others.
- Be present and listen inwardly to assimilate its message.