Why and how to grant forgiveness?
What is forgiveness?
To forgive is to accept the release of resentment and anger.
Everyone is free to stand by his or her convictions, or to forgive.
It is a conscious decision that cannot be forced.
Studies have shown that forgiveness has beneficial effects on health, especially on anxiety and sleep disorders.
Why do we need forgiveness?
If a person has hurt us, this can be the source of much suffering.
Even more so if that person feels no remorse.
The act of pardoning allows us to move on, rather than being stuck in the past.
It requires courage and love.
Forgiving someone can be liberating for that person.
However, the main purpose of forgiveness is to free ourselves, to heal.
It is to remove the thorn that remains in the heart.
How to forgive the unforgivable?
Putting ourselves in the shoes of the aggressor can be a solution for understanding the incomprehensible.
However, to pardon is also accepting that we do not understand everything.
And sometimes we can’t even excuse.
But we can always forgive ourselves.
Perceiving forgiveness as a gift to our offender does not allow for reparation.
Forgiveness is not an act of weakness, but of strength.
It is a gift that we give ourselves.
How to forgive in order to free yourself?
Forgiveness is about saying to yourself:
I have been hurt deeply. I now decide to close this wound. I thank the emotions that allowed me to grow. I accept them. I thank this situation that I needed to experience, for reasons greater than myself. I decide to stop suffering. I decide to continue living.
There are many ways to forgive.
Forgetting and burying painful memories is not the solution: sooner or later they will come back to haunt us.
Anger, hatred, resentment, misunderstanding and injustice are heavy burdens to carry.
Before forgiving, it is advisable to release the blocked emotions.
Otherwise, bitterness remains in the heart.
By using an Emotional Release Process, for example.
Then true forgiveness can be granted, so that you can move on.
Writing is a good way to express regret, to ask for forgiveness and to forgive.
This can take the form of a symbolic letter: writing everything that is in our hearts to someone.
The symbolic letter is thrown away once written.
What if it was time to forgive ourselves?
To do this, we can finish the sentence “I forgive myself for…”.
- I forgive myself for not loving myself.
- I forgive myself for not listening to me.
- I forgive myself for hurting others.
With each hint of guilt felt in the body, we can shower it with light and love.
This allows the emotion to be accepted and released.
The benefits of forgiveness are many.
Forgiving allows to stop suffering.
It works on the condition that we have released the associated emotions.
It is a genuine act of self-love.