Masturbation is a short term solution. 😄
This article is mainly for men who are obsessed with women. It is also possible to suffer from addiction to men. It comes down to the same thing, as the causes are the same.
Am I addicted to women?
Yes, I do:
- I constantly look at girls on the street.
- I think about women a lot.
- I have many sexual urges.
- I need pornography.
- I have frequent sex with one or more women.
Many men are obsessed with women. They stare at them, they want them. It is true that I can be addicted to women and be fine with it. However, this consumes a lot of energy!
Whether there is sexual intercourse or not, it is the same: I need my feminine dose, and I always want more.
What to do?
Acceptation
The first thing with an addiction is :
- To be aware of it.
- To accept it without judging myself.
If I have the firm will to transform myself, then half of the journey is already done.
Addictions cause obsessive or impulsive behavior. I need them to feel better. With women, I usually need sex.
It took me a long time to accept that I had a dependency on women. When I was out with my friends, I was all about girls. When I was in a relationship, I couldn’t stop looking at other women. When I was alone, I was suffering.
Causes
It is important to understand the underlying causes, and to know how to distinguish them:
- Sexual attraction.
- Need for love.
- Emotional wounds.
- Unconscious beliefs.
- Search for happiness outside myself.
- Search for my feminine part outside myself.
Depending on the woman, it is not the same causes that will be activated. Often, they are intertwined.
Sexual attraction
My sexual impulses are inherited from my animal part. They aim at the reproduction of the species, and are natural. When I am aroused by a woman, it is best to accept it. For example, I can say to myself: “I accept that I am sexually attracted to this girl.”
Men who repress their urges can develop uncontrollable behaviors.
Note that behind sexual attraction, there are unconscious patterns that can be transformed.
Need for love
The woman unconsciously represents the mother. In other words, when I am looking for a relationship, I am unconsciously looking for my mother’s love. When I feel lonely, it takes me back to my childhood, when my mother was busy.
I have a love addiction, and women allow me to fill that need. It is better for me to give myself that love than to expect it from others.
How? Whenever I realize that I need love through a woman, I can :
- Give myself a hug.
- Send love throughout my body.
- Repeat “I love myself”.
I can also decide to symbolically cut off the love needs related to my parents. I imagine scissors, and I cut these energetic links. This is a small action (to be done only once), which can have a big impact.
Emotional wounds
If I think about women frequently, it occupies a large part of my thoughts. Behind these repetitive thoughts, there are emotional wounds. I can explore and heal them.
The main emotional wounds are:
- Fear of not being loved.
- Fear of being abandoned or rejected.
- Fear of not being liked.
- Fear of not succeeding.
There can also be wounds of dissatisfaction, loneliness, suffering.
Often these emotions take me back to my childhood and the relationship with my parents. When I don’t find a girl or when a woman rejects me, these wounds are reactivated and I feel useless and alone.
If I can’t go more than a few days without ejaculating, this is also a sign of emotional wounds.
I am responsible for my emotions and my impulses. I can discover how to deal with my emotions. If it becomes too powerful for me, I may need help from a therapist or psychologist.
Unconscious beliefs
Some unconscious beliefs limit me in my relationship with the female sex, for example:
- If I please, I am loved.
- I need love.
- If I am lonely, it is because I am not good enough.
Most of the time, they come from my childhood or my genetic heritage. I can become aware of my beliefs, for example by observing how I repeat the relational patterns linked to my mother.
My beliefs condition my behavior and thoughts, and limit me.
I discover how to remove my limiting beliefs.
Search for happiness outside myself
I need to live fully without obsessing. For this, I can realize that I look for my happiness outside myself: food, outside activities, and… women. These are compensations: I am looking for a solution outside myself.
Women are seen as the key to my happiness. But happiness is an inner state.
The woman is often idealized. I project my unconscious desires on her. Often, it is the image of the mother that I project. This leads to frustration, because like my mother, the woman does not live up to my expectations: she does not give me all the attention I need, or she controls me and prevents me from breathing.
Conclusion
What to do if I am addicted to women?
Mainly:
- Becoming aware of it.
- Being able to distinguish the causes when I feel the urge.
- Healing myself emotionally.
Note that compulsive sex can lead to impotence: especially if I have a sexual relationship with a woman who is not for me, in order to fulfill a need.
Sexuality is not supposed to be compulsive: I can discover the true meaning of making love.